Ya'll been missing me?

I haven't updated in forevsies. Stream-of-conciousness awesomeness coming atcha. (This post is better if you read it in a fast-paced ADHD voice. Thank you.)

-Went to the Arts Fest. It was awesome. While leaving for afternoon cocktails at a nearby bar, a street preacher was yapping about how "I'm gay! Not homosexual! GAY MEANS HAPPY." Whatevs. He was weird. So I shouted and raised my hand, "I'm homosexual!" The line waiting to get in cheered. So proud of my 'lil moment.

-Shaved my head. Cut it all right off. Low maintenance hairstyle = amazing. PICTURE:

So yep, thats me looking oh-so-vogue sexy. Damn straight. Also note the tank top. I have purchased no less than 5 tank tops this summer. Couldn't be happier. Tank tops + no bed head ever = best summer ever.

-Got maself a clock radio. JK. Already had one.

-Injured... so no running. Outdid myself and made my knee hurt real bad on my 7.5 mile run. Now I can run an amazingly low 2 miles only without pain. Pissed, but lesson learned.

-But I did hire a personal trainer. He wants me to find a picture of what I want to look like when I'm done. Looked through no less than 1,327,451 pics online and finally found the one that was perfsies. HAWT man be me in 12 months or less.

-On the board for the Utah AIDS Foundation's Walk for Life coming up in Sept. Can't wait. Them posters gonna be brills.

-Don't know what's with the Utah-preteen-gay-gangster-lol-catz talk. Srsly.

-Wuz on hotguysreadingbooks. With this fab pic:

Thanks be to my coworker K-W whom I love, for the picture.

-Summer is here and parties galore. Not that they weren't before. But now our parties have tiki torches. And I burned my hand on one cause I didn't know what I was doing, but now I know so ask me anything about tiki torches.

-Wish I could quit my job and ride my bike around the world. Just live like the little hipster that lives inside me but with more space and less guts. I'd play my uke at liberty park, but in my dreams there would be no oil spill. And I would have a better singing voice.

-Or I'd go to summer camp.

-Wish I was funny like this bitch. Watch out for that F-bomb straight up at the front.

-But I am funny. Was makin' everyone bust a gut at a recent party. A few quotes that were gems:

"Goddamnit! Guacomole and genocide!"

"What are you doing?" "Oh you know, just weaving placenta."

I know, you don't get it. I don't care, it's funnier this way. Promises promises.

-OMG watched "Funny Girl" for the first time. Love that Babs. She's the prettiest. AND, Carrie Bradshaw? I got news for you honey, you stole your moves straight up from that fine Jewish specimen. Guaranteed. I can just see Miss Jessica Parker (wish I could hate her) watching "Funny Girl" and stealin' every mannerism. Whatever.

-Just living the summer of love and amazingness here in SoSaLa (South Salt Lake, duh).

-Misses and kisses to you all.

Run your very own gay 10k!

Onehelluvayear

Today at work my coworkers and I were discussing the approaching new year. After the discussion, I thought about 2009. HOLY SHIT. It's been a crazy one.

Just cause I want to say it all in one breath, all these things happened this year so far:

Icameoutoftheclosetgotajobgotmyfirstapartmentwenttosan-franciscodatedsomeboyslayedbythepoolhadanartshowand-soldtwopiecesdatedsomemoreboyslostmyjobwas-unemployedsoldmyleasemovedinwithrachelgotdepressed-gotajobinutahmovedgotnotdepressedgotanotherapartment-datedsomemoreboysdecoratedmyapartmentwaspoorbut-

happywenttolasvegasandsawu2omgbestbandevermetsome-richpeoplewhowerereallyniceandpartiedlikeoneshould-doinlasvegasinventedadeliciouscocktailstartedworkingout-andjusthadtoshoweveryonemybicepsandomgsoglad2009-isalmostoveritwasgoodbutreallycrazyomgomgomg.

I know what you're thinking... You're thinking, wow, Nick, that's a lot of things to say in one breath!" My response to you is, "OMG, you're not the one who had to say it."

But seriously, the year 2009 has been the craziest, most unbelievable year for me. And in case you didn't read that part above, here's a recap for you. And trust me, there will be no shortage of acronyms here. OMG, WHY WOULD I EVER DO THAT.

Remember when I spent the first half of the year in Idaho Effing Falls, Effing Idaho? Remember how I came out of the closet while living in Idaho Falls, Idaho? You don't remember? Well, I did, OK? And I'm going to throw away the piece of humble pie that you all want me to eat and say DAMN COMING OUT IS A BITCH and OMG I'M HELLA PROUD OF MYSELF.

But life wasn't all bad. Loved my job, my coworkers, made some faboo friends, got to see my old friends all the time, endured hopefully my last Idaho winter, dated every gay boy in Idaho Falls, I'm pretty sure. Grew up a lot, too. Oh and don't forget about Karaoke and the Unitarians. I love me the UUs.

My stint in Idaho Falls ended when I lost my job, was ineligible for unemployment then moved in with Rachel, her husband and her two kids for six weeks or so. My friend Kristina (OMG bless her soul forever and ever) told me that her company was hiring. After three trips to utah in a week and a half, I had a job and an apartment and a new life ahead of me.

I met some people through my friend Lessie here in SLC and we became fast friends. THX BE TO THEM for being the best ever and inviting me to everything and letting me be a part of their group. And I love my job and my coworkers. They're nice and we exercise together. So I've started eating right and getting buff. And sexy. And stuff. I had a gut, but now I don't. And life just flows along. And I'm happy. OMG am I happy. 2009, you were a bitch, for sure. I won't forget you anytime soon.

Love,

Nick

Snapshots from my life in the last few days.

Saturday night: "Come down here right now!" I shouted to Rachel. Immediately, the funk I was in was over. It was like I had done some very powerful drugs.

Rachel must have been in a panic, and immediately ran downstairs. "I got an offer!" I continued, conscious of the sleeping children. Rachel smiled while I danced around like a weirdo, hugged her, and generally basked in the fact that my life was going to change.

Later Saturday night: How interesting. On the night I find out I'm moving from Idaho, I end up on a date with an adorable boy. Sigh. Of course I did.

Even later Saturday night: The happiness that was immediately injected into my system a few hours earlier left me almost entirely unable to sleep. I achieved a whopping two hours of sleep. Over and over again, I went from lying there with my mind rushing through thoughts of where I was going to live, my new responsibilities, etc., to clutching my knees and giggling like an imbecile, so happy that i was finally leaving Idaho.

Sunday morning: I went to church, where I lit a candle and announced, "It's been wonderful to be here in Idaho Falls during such a defining time in my life, but now I'm moving to Salt Lake City." Coffee hour was filled with friendly goodbyes.

Sunday afternoon: Caught a very quick nap. Certainly not long enough to catch up on sleep.

Later Sunday afternoon: Helped Rachel prepare for dinner guests. We ate a delightful dinner, then I couldn't handle the stress of new people in my sleep-deprived state. So I watched the baby in the living room for a while then crashed for a two-hour nap. The dinner guests wondered where I went.

Now: I think I'm pretty much caught up on the sleep I missed. I'm in a rush to get everything done before I start my new job on August 5. Very exciting, my friends, very exciting.

To my 16 year old self.

I wrote this a few months ago. It's a letter to myself, 8 years ago. I thought it might be a good exercise, and it was. And well, it's not doing me any good hanging out on my hard drive...

Hey you. It's me. Yeah me, 8 years from now. Seems weird, doesn't it, that you'll get here.

You are cool, buddy. You are. You're going to learn this over the next few years. Be yourself and allow people to love you for who you are. That's what you (I) did. And it's worked out pretty well. I'm still learning how to do that, but it's still working.

I feel like I should warn you about what to do and what not to do. But I won't. Because every mistake you make becomes a part of you that can't be replaced. There's shit coming (I know you'd look down on me a little for saying that word), and there's the good stuff too. Remember that that's what life's about. Remember that shit and the good stuff add up to experience. And experience is what makes you who you are (And, incidentally, who I am. This is getting funny.)

I don't remember much about being in your mind. I don't remember what the future looked like for you. But know that the future is unknown. Embrace the fact that even you will be surprised at what the outcome of the next few years will be.

This is who you are 8 years from now. You are smart. You are funny (at least to yourself). You are talented. You are an artist. You are confident. You are happy. You are also gay.

I guess this is why I'm writing this letter. I want you to know that it's OK. It is going to work out. And I guess that where you are in your life, it doesn't really matter all that much. You don't think about it too often, do you?

In a few short years, though, the shit is going to hit the fan (there's that word again).

I remember being you, hoping some day to make a difference in the world. I remember praying for wisdom. Prayers are heard, Nick, they are. Sometimes the answers seem cruel and are unexpected, but don't be afraid of that kind of answer. It seems like these answers are the ones that bring about the greatest change in you.

Be open to those answers and understand that what God says to you is not always what others say to you. I'm not going to tell you what to do about being gay. Knowing the outcome would cheapen the experience for you.

It is great to be gay. It sometimes will seem like the most repugnant, rancid part of you. But trust me, it certainly is not. As time goes on, you'll learn to love you (or me?).

But I've just gotta say, be brave. March into the eye of the storm. You will conquer there. Don't be afraid of the world, because there's a place for you in it. And don't be afraid of people, because you are one of them.

Remember that it is your life and that you get to decide what it will be. Don't worry about what others will think. Believe what you believe. Be curious, be understanding and be open minded.

But know that life doesn't get easier. Don't expect it to. But I do think it gets better. It will get better, my friend, it just keeps getting better.

Bless these Holy things.

I've been reading "Come Be my Light," a book about Mother Theresa. It's good. But that's beside the point. I'm finding myself quite enamored with Catholicism. Not like I'm going to convert or anything, but more like this:

Lately, I've had this huge urge to bless things like a Catholic Priest. Sign of the cross and all. You know how it goes. For example, after spending a few hours organizing the archive at work, it was everything I could do to stop myself from blessing the Holy Archive.

So, without further ado, here I go blessing things in my life. Jesus style. (Or King James style?)

Bless the Holy Internet, with which there was much drought. (I'll spare you the deets, but hopefully I'll now be posting here more than, you know, every three weeks.)
Bless my Holy Housewares, without which, I would be very sad.
Bless the Holy Netflix.
Bless my Holy Friends, old and new.
Bless the Holy Snake River Valley, O Lord, that it may thaw.
Bless the Holy WinCo.
Bless the Holy Meadows, and their Holy Amenities, the Holy Hot Tub, and the Holy Weight Room.
Bless the Holy BLT and Ricotta Sandwich.
Bless the Holy Villa Coffeehouse.

And for the sake of job security, Bless the Holy River City Weekly, and its Holy Archive.

That's the short list, folks; but seriously... bless all of you. In response to the last post, I received nothing but the best kind of support from all of you. People came out of the woodwork fo' real. And it was awesome. Made for one of the best days/weeks of my life in recent memory.